Sunday, June 7, 2009

Nesting

Everyone talks about nesting whilst pregnant. With Raph I never nesteded. I got put on bedrest too soon and it nearly ate me alive that I couldn't do. With Colin it seemed nesting came sooner, as did bedrest and Colin. I did have enough time to nest a little before he was born. I remember one afternoon I was standing on the counter top in the kitchen (tisk tisk I know) and Raph looked up at me, "MOMMY! What are you doing? You need to get down from there!"
He was right. I had no business standing on counter tops but I just had to clean the top cabinet...inside and out.

This pregnancy I think I've been nesting the whole time. I just have to do one more thing. I don't always finish them, so there in lies the problem. I'm about 90% finished painting my sunroom. Yes I know, there I go standing on tall things with a big belly. But I really really just needed that done. It was as if the burnt orange was offending my delicate senses every time I looked in that general direction. I just needed that changed right. now. Oh and spray paint the wicker furniture too.
Other things in the house have me manic. I have to clean random things, my pantry is appaulling, my closet needs order, I must buy and sort baby girl clothes, I must buy baby gifts for friends' babies, I must buy Raph's uniforms for the fall NOW and I look around my house and all I see is disorder. I will go and go on this and that. Make grand, unattainable plans to get a multitude of things done then run out of steam...because I am 25 weeks pregnant...then get upset because I didn't finish *that one thing*.

In the midst of all this disordered organization I haven't master food. I am at a loss every single day. I have no idea what to make for dinner, what to buy and what to plan for. I have grand plans for stocking my freezer with meals...yet I can't get past tonight's meal. Its a good thing my kids will eat the same thing every night without complaint. Mike on the other hand just keeps quiet and eats what I make. I begrudgingly put together semi-balanced meals only to realize I have to do it all over again tomorrow. Like right now. I was going to make a grocery list for this afternoons trip to the store. Instead I found this pretty background for my blog and decided it needed an updated post. Excellent use of my time, no?

I've started buying diapers for the baby. I can't stop myself. Its silly really but I just need to have some diapers in wee bitty sizes. I have clothes but no socks. I really must buy socks for this baby her feet will get cold. I think part of this manic need to ready myself for this baby has to do with the fact that I will in all likelihood end up on bedrest and have an early baby. I never really know when that might pop up so I have to get on it. NOW! I think I'm doing well and will quietly sort towels in the closet or shampoo bottles in the bathroom then I get those damn nagging contractions. Fridays come around again and so do the cramps and the butt shots. They are my reminder that the baby's arrival is coming sooner and sooner. That kicks my need to sort, clean and organize into high gear for the weekend. Only problem with that is the butt shots make me tired. That leg dragging, how-can-I-go-on fatigue that you only experience while pregnant. That increases my frustration and my desire to make really long unattainable lists of things to do.

Now...I really must go to the grocery store and sort Raph's toys...

1 comment:

Erin said...

I TOTALLY GET the dinner thing. I actually LIKE to cook. But only when I have time to plan and shop and actually COOK, which is basically NEVER. So every single night is the same agonizing "What now?" dilemma. Sigh.

I also get the nesting compulsion, but I think it's probably worse for you because you're anticipating bedrest. If I thought I'd be restricted for the last trimester, I would go CRAZY BUSY getting things done. It's an unpleasant feeling, I think, feeling like you just can't stop. But the results-- all the things you get done-- ARE nice.