Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I'm going to go all Super Nanny on his ass

Colin makes me want to drink cooking wine. Seriously. I know he's 2 but damn, I can't take it anymore. He's taken Terrible Twos to the next next level. I spend all fucking day saying no, taking things away, picking up and defusing fights. Its got to be exhausting to be this bad. At least he's a good sleeper. If he did all this and didn't sleep I'd be homicidal...or just drop him off at QuikTrip. I just don't know what to do with him anymore. I suppose I could just beat him but that really wouldn't solve anything. It would just cause more problems b/c then I'd be put in jail...then again I'd be away from kids for a long long time. That might not be so bad after all. AND someone would do all the cooking.

Anyway, Colin has become that kid. You know the one I'm talking about. The one where people cluck and tisk as they walk past you shaking their heads. That poor mom with her out of control child. Why can't she just make him behave? I've tried. Believe me I've tried. What can you do when your kid is standing up in the shopping car, screaming, with a dirty face and throwing stuff out of the cart...or even worse, putting stuff in. That's how I came home with a can of generic cream of celery soup. ::gag::

I want to go all Super Nanny on his ass but I don't think I have enough fight left in me. That's all I do all day as it is. I fight with him over every. little. thing. I even choose my battles but its just constant. And when you discipline him he spits at you. Yes he spits. In complete disrespect he does that raspberry type of spit with pure venom. With that spitting I've decided to just ignore it. Kind of like when they start saying 'Shit'. Instead of making a big deal about how they shouldn't say such things (gee, wonder where they heard it?) I just ignore and they stop or just forget.

Meanwhile Raph is no angel either. I swear that boy will start his period any day now. For real. I think he could use some Midol b/c he's soooo hormonal and whiney. On the way home today he was just bitching and moaning about everything. Every.thing. Life is so unfair and everyone is out to persecute poor poor Raph. I let them get soft pretzels as the store while we were out. He threw a fit b/c they weren't cinnamon (read: sugar) pretzels and they were salt. I'm soooo mean like that. He went on and on and on about how he won't eat a salt pretzel and he doesn't like salt and there will be nothing on his pretzel to eat, blah blah blah. We come home and he makes a huge mess of de-salting his pretzel and eats it all. At this time Colin was eating a piece of cheese he got at the store before his pretzel. A few minutes later Colin finds me asking for his pretzel. I go in the kitchen to find it and Raph has eaten 80% of Colin's pretzel. WTF?! WHYYYYY? You just bitched about how he didn't want a salt pretzel then eats his own pretzel and most of his brother's. I asked him why he ate Colin's pretzel. "Because I didn't know if he was going to eat it." Duh.

Between the spitting angry tyrant and the whining bitching mope I'm not sure which is worse! Today Heidi is my favorite.


Erin said...

You know I understand. COMPLETELY. I have that child too. His name also begins with "C."

He is aging me FAST.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad I read this! I have a 3 year old (just turned 3 in Oct)...this is my day every day. Thank you so much for making me not feel so alone. I swear the day he turned 3 a switch flipped. I always thought 3 would be better than 2 but my mom (who's been a daycare provider for 25 years) says "no don't you remember me telling you 3 is worse than 2...holy shit I didn't think it could get worse but guess what it did! I have even contemplated going back to work and putting him in daycare b/c at some point it would be better than the 2 of us fighting all day long every day right? I tell my husband, I am just at my wit's end with this bullshit....Defiant with a capital "D"..mouthy, loud (screams), started climbing (never before has he done this), biting, pinching his own face when he gets mad...OMG I am losing my mind....but it feels good to know I am not alone :-)