Tuesday, December 22, 2009

You are doing everything right

There are precious few times in your life when someone makes this statement AND direct it towards YOU. Never mind it being in reference to your parenting. That's virtually unheard of outside of consolation from a friend or family member.


A nurse, a medical professional at my pediatrician's hot line said that very thing to me last week. I was calling for nothing major but just a little reassurance. Heidi had a little cold but I just wanted to make sure I didn't need to anything more. I'm well versed in childhood illnesses but when the child in question is 3 months old you tend to second guess yourself. After going through the laundry list of treatments I noted that I was already doing everything she stated. She replied, "Well, then you are doing every right. If she has any changes or gets worse give us a call."


Its a little thing but means so much. Living life is difficult at times. You second guess the mundane and the extraordinary, especially when it comes to parenting. Rarely do you ever get affirmation that the choices you make are correct or at least not completely wrong. You aren't warping your child and CPS isn't knocking on your door.


Twice since Heidi has been born have I gotten that little (read: huge) pat on the back. Yes, its true, I know how to treat a cold. That's not such a big deal but when Heidi left the NICU I was nearly reduced to tears. The nurse practitioner told Mike and I how happy we made her. It was so nice to see a baby leave with such a good family. People who truly cared and could care for their baby. She told us we were a joy to have and knew that Heidi was going to thrive with us as parents. How could that NOT make you well up with tears? Not only were you finally able to take your baby home with you, but someone was praising you and your parenting abilities. That right there is sheer perfection as far as I'm concerned. And something I'm not likely to forget.


I know I am not the perfect parent or person for that matter. I have my faults and I struggle, but in the grand scheme of things I'm doing ok. I think often times we don't give ourselves enough credit for what we do right. There is so much focus on the negative, what you screwed up and how messy your house is. On the other hand, you can't just ignore the mistakes and gloat. Rest on your laurels thinking you know everything. Usually the people who think they know everything really have the most to learn. I am always learning and learning from my mistakes. Every now and then it is nice to have someone comment on what you are doing without prejudice. It makes you take a step back, look at yourself and carry on with a wee bit more confidence. I have good kids. They are happy, healthy, well cared for and loved. I must be doing something right after all.

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