Friday, June 4, 2010
I just feel like I'm sputtering. I'm pulled in a million directions at once and just getting by most of the time. I think everyone has phases like that where they are in a blur of child rearing, shopping, interrupted sleep and social interaction. May was a busy month in our house. It just seemed to fly by and leave a path of destruction in its wake. June is pretty calm but I'm still recovering from May. The boys are out of school (the horrors!) and we are all home. The whining and fighting are not for the faint of heart. I swear all I say is:
"I can't understand you because you are whining."
"I'm not part of this fight so I don't want to hear about it."
"Don't hit/kick/punch/suffocate your brother/sister."
I think this is the period of adjustment because they aren't used to being around each other so much. They don't fight all the time but when they do it can be explosive. That said, the bickering is just as annoying as the screaming. When they are sweet and hugging and playing nicely its sheer perfection.
I try to stay out of their fights as best I can because I don't want any part of irrational pecking. Plus if I intervened I wouldn't have time to do anything else, much less work on The Suzy Homemaker Plan. Speaking of that plan...I haven't started yet. I have paint swatches on the wall in my dining room and the paint buckets in the basement but how in the WORLD could I possibly paint two large rooms with all those kids underfoot. If it were just the boys it would be one thing but Heidi? She's into everything. I think this will require a sitter to come to the house while I work. I'm not an after hours painter. I paint with mad fury during the day and crank out a room in a day.
Once again I'm abandoning all logical flow patterns and flittering from project to project. (Yesterday Raph and I organized my recipes into binders with nice tabs and page protectors. Because, that's REALLY important.) I think, with the exception of painting over the color swatches on the wall, my little (read: epic) plan will have to wait until the fall when the boys are in school again. This summer I have to try to make it through as a SAHM for the first time without throwing unnecessary obstacles in my path. I read something the other day that I need to remember, "There is no extra credit for taking the hardest path possible." This is true. I don't need to set myself up for failure like that...there is plenty in my path already without adding more! You know, like getting Heidi to go to sleep by herself and stay that way until morning. Or keeping all the damn crumbs off the floor. That alone makes me feel lik Sisyphus.
I'm trying to get it together and fall into some sort of rhythm for summer. Its my only hope for survival. Otherwise its going to be like Lord of the Flies over here!