Monday, September 6, 2010

Fleeting


Its an old adage that babydom is so very fleeting. Cliches like that don't come from the ether, they are true and often repeated. Early childhood is a tug of war for parents. You are so eager for that next phase, newest milestone and yet you want them to stay that age forever. At least the good parts. I could do without night wakings and diaper changes but I digress.

Even still, those mundane daily events you want to cling to on a certain level. I remember when we got new bedroom furniture not long after Colin turned a year old. I was taking the drawers out my old night stand and I found a newborn diaper stuffed in the back. I was nearly reduced to tears when I saw that weensy diaper. How could my Tasmanian devil of a child ever have fit into a diaper no bigger than the palm of my hand?

Now when I get up with Heidi at night (yes she still gets up at night) and nurse her, I love it. When she has drunk herself into oblivion I raise her up and rest her head on my shoulder. Her long legs wrap around my waist and I drink her in. I rock and cradle her limp, heavy body and know that this too will end. She rarely sits still much less lets me rock her so I take my brief sleepy moments at night with a certain amount of joy. These little moments are to be treasured, though I don't usually feel treasured when morning comes all too soon. She is my baby, my last baby, and I won't have many more of these moments. Every day she is more child than baby. I love her new phases. She is a character, mischievous and a joker but you want to savor those baby moments as long as you can while looking forward to what lies ahead.

Every night Raph falls asleep as soon as he is still for 30 seconds and Colin bounces around in his bed. He comes out to the living room and says to Mike, "Daddy, I rock you?" He's torn between enforcing bedtime and enjoying his moment with his *baby* boy. Every night after Colin is back in bed Mike says that he wants to rock him because how long will Colin actually want to sit with him? So, Raph crawls into bed with us in the morning, Colin rocks at night and Heidi nurses around 4 am every night. They will always be our babies, even if Raph scoffs at the notion. They grow so quickly, seemingly overnight at times and they are disappearing before our very eyes. What replaces the baby is something even better, albeit not quite as nostalgic. There is something special about a baby. Everyone, no matter who they are or even if they are holding their own baby, turns and looks when a baby enters a room. Babies are magnetic because they are here for such a brief, sweet time.

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