Friday, April 29, 2011

Mom Style

What's my style? Hmmm....

There is no question that I love shoes. I am a self proclaimed shoe whore and damn proud of it. I like clothes and I really like dresses. That said, I am now a stay-at-home-mom. I don't go to work and get to plan cute outfits. I have an adorable pencil skirt I bought about 10 years ago (yes it still fits thankyouverymuch) that I love. Bending over at the park and wiping snot off of noses and pencil skirts don't mix. At all. I have the opportunity to go out now and then...emphasis on *then*...but those nights are few and far between. I love those opportunities to dress up. I'm sure my husband does as well considering on any given day he sees me in a t-shirt and jeans or jammie pants.

Who says you can't wear a pregnant bridesmaid dress more than once?! FYI, That's Heidi in the belly. And I have no idea why I look scared.

I go through phases of wanting to look nice and other times get a serious case of the "fuck its". How do you reconcile those two worlds? How do you marry form and function. There has got to be some middle ground between the stilettos with a pencil skirt and yoga pants and a tank top.
In my last post I sited the article that proclaims the French women as our model in terms of fashion. I've been wrestling with this beast in my head for a while then I read the article. Its true. I don't need to wear yoga pants, how lazy can you be? I try to at least wear jeans when I go out, the immediately put on comfy pants when I get home. But, I can do better.

Anyone who says you can't be massively pregnant and sexy at the same time is wrong. I wore this skin tight tube of a dress with a gianormous belly and stilettos. This is one of those times where you just say, "Dammit I WILL look good and ignore how badly my feet hurt." BTW, that's Colin in the belly in case you were wondering.

When I worked and I was having a bad day where I just felt bleck I would dress up. I would go to work in a dress or skirt and rock a pair of stilettos. Everyone would comment on how great I looked and I would start to perk up. Sometimes its best to fake it and you start to feel how you look. If you look like a rumpled pile everyday then soon you will feel like a rumpled pile all the time. Plus Heidi is always so adorable in her hair pretties and cute outfits. I don't want to have this BABY whom everyone calls a fashionista and then be a slop of a mom. That would truly be living vicariously through your child. ::shudder::

See what I have to work with? MUST be machine washable.

Recently, I went through my closet slash and burn style. I got rid of at least half of the things in there. I, like most people, have a full closet yet nothing to wear. Funny how that happens huh? I got rid of things I haven't worn in a long time, I don't like or don't fit. I have a bare bones type of closet but that's good. Now that my waist line is going to likely stay roughly the same size for the foreseeable future I want to start building a real wardrobe. Its hard to have a good wardrobe when you are constantly gaining and losing weight. Even foundations like bras are in flux when you are pregnant or nursing. I feel like I'm on my own, less glamorous version of "What Not to Wear". While I would LOVE to go shopping with Stacey and Clinton I am thankfully not as bad as their befores.

I can't be too bad off right? I actually own this Dolce and Gabbana cocktail dress and the killer Badgley Mischka shoes. If you could marry shoes I would totally marry these 4in wearable pieces of art.

This is not to say you won't ever catch me in gym shorts or yoga pants but I am making an effort to look better on a regular basis. I'd like to think Heidi will look back on me as a stylish young mom for whom she'd like to emulate. If you look good, you feel good and you project confidence. I don't want to project schlump. I can look nice regularly with a basic wardrobe and a little tiny bit of effort. Anyway, shoes make the outfit and we all know I have shoes!


Yeah, I'm never in pictures unless there is occasion so this is what I have to work with. Like I said, I always want to buy more dresses. Note the shoes...love! They are so neutral and versatile!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

It doesn't take much

Note that my last post was almost a month ago bragging about how I was on a roll. Well, I've skidded to a halt and fell in a ditch. Its amazing to me how quickly things can unravel. Before you can blink you have nothing to make for dinner, the house is a disaster and the laundry basket is so overflowing that you need to climb over it to get to your bathroom. Oh and the bathroom sink is clogged. At some point you even feel like its OK to let your daughter wear a day old whale spout and the back of her hair is a frizzy poof. And this next thing makes me hang my head in SHAME...my kids have eaten McDonald's 3 times in the last week. For SHAME! Ugh.


That said, I have a pretty valid excuse, I did have surgery. Nothing major mind you but it doesn't take much to get this partial oil semi-smooth running machine fall all to shit.

At times like these I tend to triage my life.
*Laundry comes first. Sometimes you really have to go back to basics and remember you need clean undies.
*Food can come in daily doses, via a take out window (shame) or creative thinking in the kitchen (brilliance!).
*Make the kids pull their weight. I have forced this issue with greater authority this past week. You MUST clean up the living room. I cannot handle a shit pile in my living room looking at me, judging me, making my skin crawl and making me painfully pick up things that are not mine. Bedrooms and made beds can wait. I don't see those constantly.
*I cleaned off the counter tops in the kitchen yesterday. I felt so much better. Then cleaned off my desk. Those two areas get out of control rather quickly and grate on my last nerve.
*Clean up mental clutter if its easy. I have needed to make doctor appointments for both Raph and Colin. I just sat down and did it one day. 5 minutes later those tasks were done and that was off my shoulders. If its easy JUST DO IT and it will go away.


Everything else can wait. Sometimes you just have to take naps, enjoy Easter, a narcotic haze and wear yoga pants, though, it seems French women don't wear them. But when you can't wear a waistband because your belly button still hurts...screw the French and their fancy clothes. Speaking of Easter...I did go to Mass and wore a very nice dress. Someone asked me when I was due. So not cool. I bet French women don't do that either.


Even in my weakened state I managed to pull this hot mess of a cake together. Feast your eyes on the Almond Joy Cake. Mmmm

Monday, April 4, 2011

I'm on a roll baby!

You know because I planned meals 2 weeks in a row! Baby steps right? Monday: Herb and goat cheese (but I'm using feta) stuffed chicken breasts with couscous and asparagus with balsamic tomatoes and caprese salad....not sure who is going to eat all this but dammit that's what I'm makin'! Tuesday: Crock pot chicken tacos because I never made it last week Wednesday: Savory sausage, spinach and onion turnovers Thursday: Chicken fried rice Friday: Spicy torilla soup with shrimp and avocado I'm not sold on the soup yet because I saw some other meat free dishes in a magazine that I want to try. Also, I have no idea what the sides will be on some of those nights. I play sides by ear and what's laying around.

Raph asked for corn on the cob not factoring in the missing and loose teeth. Heehee


Last night Mike barbequed because it was 85* outside. Oh yeah...

I appologize for the wonky formatting. Blogger seems to be having issues or I'm having issues with blogger.

Friday, April 1, 2011

This sums up the last 24 hours....

Today I got literally STUCK in a car wash. I had to call Mike to look up the gas station's phone number. I called from inside the car wash and said, "Um, I'm stuck in your car wash, can you get me out?"


Its just been that kind of week.


The guy ran out to the car wash, turned it off and then I had to off-road my way over the tire blocks in the car wash with a sudsy car. He gave me a coupon for a free car wash and I left in search of another car wash to get the soap off. But wait...more happened so let me back up.


Yesterday afternoon I started having the tell-tale symptoms of pink eye. Remember last time someone in our house got pink eye it made its way back and forth between the boys no less than FIVE times and then of course Mike and I each got it. Splendid!



I called my eye doctors (husband and wife team) but they are on vacation. I called my primary and left a message. I dug around until I found my old glasses from circa 1997. I wake Heidi from a nap and load she and Colin in the car to pick up Raph from school. I had to go into the office because I was picking him up early to go to the doctor for a check up. While we were waiting there was a police officer and he started talking to Colin. "Is that your baby sister? Do you like to play with her?" Colin says, "Yeah and I like to hit Raph too." Glorious!


I get Raph and we head out to the ped's office. There is a line to check in...not a good sign. We are waiting and my kids are absolutely insane. I tried really hard to keep them somewhat contained but there is only so much you can do when they get that way. I at least tried to keep them from physically wrestling in the waiting room, running or screaming. Tried.


Its finally our turn and the nurse said she sprayed the room and let it air out but she was sorry for the stink. Sigh.


They get weighed and measured and I have Colin do an eye exam. He fails. Stupendous!


We go back to the stinky exam room and the boys strip to their unders. ::insert wiener jokes ad nauseum:: I don't know who gave them crack but they were all bouncing off the walls. Like climbing on top of chairs and jumping off and wrestling some more. We had been waiting an HOUR when there was a timid knock on the door and a resident walks in and starts to introduce herself. I just cut her off and said, "No. Its not happening. We can't wait for you today we need to see the doctor." Normally it doesn't really bother me that virtually ALL of our doctors are in teaching practices. Doctors gotta learn somehow but it was not happening that day. No way. She backs out of the room and a minute later the doctor breezes in for their check ups.



This is what its like trying to hold Colin...he's wrigglie and always trying to make a jump for it


Colin continues his gymnastics and falls on the floor approximately 7 times and when I tried to physically restrain him on my lap his writhing body was sweaty. Then he farted in my face.


We make it through the exam and the doctor said she thought Colin was part kangaroo. I was embarrassed but not too much because she once told me that her boys (same age as mine) have similar personalities as mine. She *gets* it.


Then Colin gets two shots. Mwhahahahahaa. First one went fine but the second one he tried to grab the syringe out of the nurse's hand. I hold him and he gets stuck again and we leave. We race out of the parking lot to get home in time for Taekwondo. I had to call the mother of the boy I was supposed to be driving to say we would not be there on time. Heidi starts screaming in the car. Yippeee!


I run into the house and get Raph's uniform and get to TKD with just enough time for him to change and line up for practice. Colin and Heidi sat nicely for about 37 seconds and they had to be removed. Seriously WHO gave them crack? When I find them I'm going to beat their asses.


I check my voice mail and the doctor called in medicine for my eye...remember I have pink eye too. Mike gets to the practice and we forcibly extract the little ones and he takes them home. I sit next to two other moms and eavesdrop. Though its not really eavesdropping if the one talks very loudly about how her brother is a "dick". Just sayin'.


After practice I take Raph home and Colin and Heidi are running laps. Again...who gave them speed? Raph eats dinner and then they are all running and screaming and fighting and its very very loud in our house. Colin ended up having one of those 45 min time outs where you keep putting him back in his room because he's screaming and throwing things and generally making everyone else miserable. He calms down and wrestles with the other two for a bit. He goes poop and calls for someone to wipe his butt. After he's cleaned up he walks into the living room and pees on the floor. At that point we sent them all to bed. And by send them to bed I mean place them in their rooms but the fighting and screaming and whining continues in dimly lit rooms.


I leave to go get dinner for Mike and I and get my eye drops. I pull up to the pharmacy and they have no record of my prescription. YEAH!!! I go home, eat my dinner and go to bed.


After one allergy attack, a nightmarish child, a bloody nosed kid and an eye glued shut I get up and look like I've been on a four day bender. I get the kids up and dressed and out the door. Colin tells me I needed to wear jeans. I had yoga pants on, judge me, I don't care. But really he was calling me out because I got rid of all of his sweat pants and I'm forcing him to wear jeans. High water sweat pants are ok now and then but not every.single.day. He pretty much picks up where he left off the night before and is a maniac and throws fit after fit after fit. JOY!


I drop Colin off at school and field questions about glasses. Did I mention they are the wrong prescription? I make a grocery run and Heidi thinks its fun to climb on me instead of sit in the seat. I buckle her in a vain attempt at containing her and pinch her belly in the buckle. She red-faced screams for about 10 minutes while I try to check out.


I need some 'effin vodka...


Next stop the post office. Heidi destroys a card display in the time it takes me to walk up to the counter. I tried holding her and she fought me. Put her on the counter and she tried jumping off. Let her down and she went back for the cards. I make it out of there with glares from other patrons and a baby girl who inked her face with a pen.


NOW, this is where I get gas and go through the car wash and get stuck, call the guy in the store and get sprung. I had gotten a call from my doctor's office saying they accidentally called the grocery store pharmacy not the Walgreen's I had asked for. I go to the grocery store and naturally Heidi had just fallen asleep. I wait in a long line with a dead weight baby on my shoulder. When its my turn Heidi wakes up and they say its not ready. Seems the pharmacy *just* got the fax from my doctor. They totally lied to me and said they called it in last night...nope, about 2 seconds before they called me back. Lovely. I have to leave to get Colin so I can't wait for the drops.


I put a now away and very angry Heidi back in the car. I decide to stop at another gas station for a car wash since mine has dried soap all over it. This gas station has a credit card swipe so I run my card. Declined. At this point I just start laughing hysterically. I had been talking to my mom about my day and she is laughing with me. Then she said maybe it would just rain and then my car would bubble up. Right! And then if I drive around real fast it will wash the soap off! Brilliant!


I get to Colin's school in my soap stained car and bottom out on the curb of my parking spot. AHHHHHHH! I pick up Colin and take them back home for lunch. I walk in the door and pharmacy calls....they don't have any of those eye drops! Of course they don't! She offers to call another store with the medicine in stock. Fine. I fix lunch and the pharmacy calls back. "I just wanted to let you know that those eye drops are a $75 co-pay." And that's the generic price. After I told her that its par for the course...I mean, I did get stuck in a car wash today. She said she would call the doctor's office and see if there is a cheaper alternative for me. I mean, its freakin' pink eye. How much could that possibly cost? I know Heidi had a $300 butt cream but eye drops?! Come on.


The pharmacy has yet to call back and I'm afraid to leave the house....